My Girlfriend Got Married!

I know that this post is long past due but I thought that I was okay with it. But the holidays made me realize that yes, I am still hurting. Of what you may ask? Well, of my dream girl, Elizabeth Hurley getting married to a fellow desi.

What was it Lizzy (as I used to call her, and which she liked I may add), was I not charming enough? Did I not sing hindi songs to you every night as you slept? Did you not enjoy my spicy ginger chicken and freshly baked roti that I slaved away at? Do you know how hard it is to obtain the consistency of the atta and water? Not easy!

My friends have told me to be happy that she has at least kept it in the culture. Yeah, but that does not make me happy. Just the idea that you will be licking the ghee from your fingers from another man's servants roti just makes me ill to my stomach. Just the idea of knowing that you will be re-enacting your favourite Bollywood singing scenes with another man, well Lizzy, I just don't like it.

Well my dear, I hope that you're happy. Yes, your new hubby can give you rubbies and diamonds and anything that your heart desires but will he ever be able to give you a funky one of a kind, custom made Brown Man Clothing Co. shirt just for you? Well, I think not! Until then Lizzy, I will be here... waiting.

*okay, I never really dated her but, if I did, I would still feel the same way!